Saturday, 7 May 2022
At home
A day of heavy rain and wind gave me time to almost finish my book, and then the sun came out so I accomplished a small bit of weeding in the cat memorial garden.
When the rain returned, I was just as happy to retreat indoors and read some more.
The sky was dramatic from indoors after I fled the pelting rain.
Two books
The book, 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, turned out not to be a book about how to get everything done. In fact, it advised that you let some things not get done and has all sorts of useful and often droll advice on how to accomplish that. My thing to let go of is the nagging feeling I should make the house be tidy. I have better things to do (gardening, reading) and have learned from the pandemic that I much prefer not having friends inside my house anyway. I prefer the solitude…and prefer visits outside and only in good weather.
Another thing I have had to let go of is growing as much veg as I did last year. At least the spring veg growing fell to the wayside of all the hours we are spending at work. So I’m going to stop feeling bad about that. It will free up some veg boxes for fall and winter crops, which is when we need it most (assuming there will probably be a pandemic surge in the autumn).
July and August are great months for outdoor company. The garden looks good, and work is easier than in spring. But not too long of a visit, because I do have gardening to do.
I completely agree with the author’s revelation, below, regarding not missing dining out because of pandemic restrictions. It used to be a regular and pleasant habit of ours, one that I knew we’d have to give up when we retired because we wouldn’t be able to afford it then. Turns out I don’t miss it…maybe with the exception of the occasional memory of an especially good meal…but I’d rather have the money for plants. I especially don’t miss the time after the meal when you are waiting for the check, ready to leave, and can’t yet.
And speaking of waiting impatiently for the restaurant bill, here’s this, from a chapter addressing impatience and hurriedness:
One of the best paths to happiness is said to be to be in control of your own schedule. I have almost always had that as an adult and I do appreciate it, even though most times our schedule is driven by what the plants need now. (And as the person who keeps track of what the plants need, I control the schedule more than Allan does. And the weather controls it more than anything, closely followed by the calendar of tourism events.)
In a passage about how lawyers (and, I’m sure, other professionals) learn to commodify time because of their billable hours, so knowing they could be making money each hour tends to make them not value life outside work, I realized I do the same thing. For example, this week I have to be home early for two zoom meetings. I immediately thought of the money I would lose by knocking off work two hours early. Even if going to dinner with a friend, I would think that not only will this cost the restaurant bill but also the money we are losing by quitting early! And I’m not even that greedy for money!
The book has much about how short life is, including some math about the passage of time that surprised (and disturbed) me. It is excellent, and our local library has it.
I read another book bit by bit at bedtime during the weeks of reading Patricia Highsmith’s Diaries, which is a book so heavy that it was only comfortable to read in the comfy chair. I needed lighter reading for bedtime. Pre-pandemic, when a visiting friend saw that I had Chicken Soup for the Gardening Soul in my book pile, she expressed surprise in that I “didn’t seem like a chicken soup [book] person.” I inherited the book from my mother. Yes, it isn’t great literature, especially because for some reason the writing of many different authors all has the same sentimental and yet breezy style. I could get past that and appreciate what was good about it…even though I wouldn’t seek out “chicken soup” books on any other topic.
My favorite story is only four paragraphs long, about Chuck Yeager’s words, “Do what you can for as long as you can and when you can’t, do the next best thing.” In his 70s, a gardener had muscular deterioration that made him at risk for falling. His wife was worried when she saw him lying down in the garden and rushed out and asked what he was doing. He said, “The next best thing,”…weeding lying down, which is what I had to do for awhile last summer. Now working with the rollator is the next best thing.
I also especially liked one of the inspirational quotations at the head of a chapter:
The true measure of an individual is how she treats a person who can do her absolutely no good. (Ann Landers)
In my younger years I worked as a server, in both restaurants and bars – and as a bartender. I have an appreciation for the hard work and tolerance this job entails.
But I have fallen out of love, with dining out. The pandemic of course put the seal on that, but my lack of enthusiasm started before that. Truth be told I hate long waits to be seated, I hate getting the awful table under an AC unit, beside the loo, or near the bus pans of cleared dirty dishes. I dislike the waste of getting a plated meal with the vegetable medley I don’t like – or the fact I have to pay five bucks extra to swap something out. I hate waiting for the bill (knowing it is not an overworked server’s fault). And I dislike the newer system where the house keeps the tips – and distributes them as they see fit.
Hah – this all sounds like a cantankerous old codger. So be it :).
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I agree with you. A local chain of establishments, one of which I used to garden for, adds a twenty percent tip. This seemed great to me at first, I even read a book about how great it is, but then I talked to some of the employees and they did not like it. The way it was shared out, they got less tips than they used to. You are so right, too, I never blame the server if service or the check is slow…or the chef, or the sous chef….I’ve read enough restaurant memoirs that I know how easy it is to get “in the weeds”. I could not be a server because I have a certain amount of face blindness.
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Another hurrah for all the green I see! And that grey sky is a bonus. We’re known for our blue sky here, which is indeed stunning all year round, but I long for home, where grey skies prevail.
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Yes, “[o]ne of the best paths to happiness is said to be to be in control of your own schedule.” For all the years I worked I was never in control of my schedule, particularly during the last 20 years, where I was scheduled by 15 minute increments. If I seem sort of lazy during this new thing called retirement, it’s because I relish being an adult, free of others’ scheduling, instead of being seen as a five-year-old child who needs to be constantly directed on how to get her job done.
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Former workmate of my s/o – went to work as a sales rep for one of the large international candy companies. To keep track of their employees – and to verify that the rep was indeed paying a call to a retail establishment – the employee had to stand in front of the retail outlet and take a selfie – and send it to HQ. It was humiliating – esp for professional adults (with many years of proven sales experience).
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Horrible! Just awful!
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It must be a trend because a couple of years ago, LB told me I had to write out my bill in time increments. It’s a real pain. Their overlords want to see we spent a half hour in this park, then a half hour in the next park, they probably want to know we spent five minutes going out to the sanican but I draw the line at that kind of detail. Of course, it’s ridiculous and extra time consuming to write up a bill like that, and as we are scrupulously honest about our time reporting, I try to do it as best I can.
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